Yu no Daidokoro – 67 points

Today had a Chinese theme.  I ventured into a Taiwanese massage place.  I always had a rather dubious image of these places, especially given the rather extreme marketing I am subjected to when I leave the office late a night – there is a limit to the number of tokubetsu kimochi ii masa-ji that one can be offered without wanting to resort to physical violence.  At least this ‘hood is not as bad as the Pong, the touts for the girly bars are not yet here in force.

 

So anyway, having always had a somewhat sceptical view of what may be on offer in a place billing itself as a ‘Taiwanese/Chinese Massage Store’ I had never stepped into one, until today.  A week or so back, I had lugged Little Trouble around most of north London and a result of walking miles and miles with her on my shoulders had managed to put my back out a bit.  Big Trouble suggested that as a sign of appreciation she would take me to a massage place which she visits on occasion and swears is legit.  So off we went.

 

Feeling a bit out of my comfort zone (the idea of some one about to walk on my back being the main reason), we entered into a Taiwanese massage place on Hitotsugi-doori, which I must admit was not a all together unpleasant experience.  I did ensure however that the curtain between my booth and Big Trouble’s was left open just to make sure that I was not molested in any way.

 

So having been sufficiently walked on and kneaded in various not unpleasant ways, Big Trouble and I decided to maintain the Chinese theme and went for Chinese noodles for lunch.

 

The noodles:  Yu no Daidokoro specialises in noodles that are cut off a large lump of dough directly in a boiling pot of water.  They were very good, sort of like a rough cut udon, not quite in the league of my current favourite noodles – okutone udon, but very close, firm to the bite, but with enough slipperiness to make them slide down your throat.  They also had just the right level of absorbency to pick up the soup 24 points.

 

The soup:  We both ordered the tantanmen, which is meant to be spicy, it was not.  This was not a problem however as they had a jar full of chilli-sauce to add to the soup so that the punters could craft their own level of spiciness.  I liked this approach, so many places use chilli to hide the fact that their soup has no underlying flavour, this place did not.  The soup was a rich meaty broth and after a few spoonfuls of the chilli paste had the required heat. 23 points.

 

The extras:  A small plate of three different dumplings, all very tasty, and a mango pudding.  All that was missing was a coffee.  10 points.

 

Bonus: 10 points for the chef not using his arm as a cutting board.  When I suggested this place, Big Trouble was a little worried as she heard that it was standard practice for the chef to put the dough on his arm and then carve away at it with a knife, the result of which is that some of the noodles end up with a bit of human hair in them.  No worries at this place, they used a wooden board to place the dough on (although I probably would not have noticed and given that the noodles are boiled, I am sure they would be sterile enough).  10 points.

 

The details: B1 West Akasaka Building, 3-19-8 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Phone 03 3583 8688

Web site: http://r.gnavi.co.jp/a955400/

 

Yasube Ramen – 27 points

There are some superb combinations in the food world; pears and gorgonzola; raw fish and rice; bacon and brown sauce; fish and chips.  But there are also some that just don’t work.  Some chefs will try and show off by combining the unusual, but most of the time this just doesn’t work.  Unless you are one of those very few genius chefs who has the creativity to pull it off, stick to basic rules, one of which is that meat and fish generally don’t go well together.  There are obvious reasons why cows don’t swim and tuna aren’t often seen on green pastures, one of which is they don’t get on well.  I mean, has anyone ever seen Daisy and Nemo having a pint together down the local?  No, they are not mates, not meant to be mates and will probably never be mates.  It doesn’t mean that they are not jolly nice in their own respects, but it just means that they don’t go well together.

 

Yasube Ramen is one of those new school ramen joints, which is a bit too much about showing off instead of doing things properly.  Their first mistake, which is an appalling schoolboy mistake, is to have a fish base stock for their soup with a generous amount of pork fat in it.  This is just not going to work.  You can picture the process of how the soup was developed – some high ego show-off young ramen guy gets a bunch of adoring lackies together and shows off his soup with the unexpected combination of pork and fish.  None of the lackies have the guts to say there is a reason why this combination hasn’t been done before and that is because it is a really bad idea.  Young ramen ego then thinks he is brilliant and finds some backer who doesn’t know the first thing about ramen to poor (<- deliberate spelling mistake) a bunch of his hard earned cash into the venture.

 

I admit that my view of this place is probably not in line with the mainstream view.  Perhaps my lack of appreciation and understanding for this great food means that I cannot truly appreciate it.  But I thought it was shite.  The place is very popular though, there was a queue when I went there at 2:00 and the place seems to be pretty popular in the ramen rankings so I may have got it all wrong.  Probably as a result of my being a hard in my ways cynical old git.  Next year fish and meat may be all the thing.  Imagine it, oysters in your hamburger, steak with octopus sauce; show-off meals for overpaid executives of sea urchin on foie gras – or perhaps maybe not.

 

The noodles:  Not the right noodles for the soup.  With a tsukemen the noodles need to be such that they can capture the sauce, which these ones were not that good at doing.  Also, they lacked much in the way of shine.  Not bad per say, but just not that good.  10 points.

 

The soup:  My first zero.  Sorry it was never going to work.  It was a bad idea from the start and no addition of miso or chillies or whatever is likely to make it better.  Go back to the drawing board, start again and prepare a new soup.  If the soup isn’t right, a ramen store is never going to work. 0 points.

 

The toppings:  The pork in the soup was OK, not much else to write home about though.  7 points.

 

Bonus: Nice interior, the gyoza were OK. 10 points.

 

The details: 6-3-19 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Phone 03 3505 4211

Web site: http://www.yasubee.com/index.html

 

Kyosuke – 38 points

Simplicity in the search for perfection should never be overlooked.  Some of the simplest foods are the best, a slice of perfect fish, raw, uncooked and unadulterated; a Naples pizza, a perfect base with a dash of tomato sauce etc.  But is soba such a food?  I am a fan of soba, and have had many memorable meals, but if simplicity is one of the routes to sublimity (and yes, I made that word up, but I am sure you get the jIst), the soba must be one of the hardest paths.  Although it is not uncommon for certain other ingredients (such as normal wheat or potato starch) to be added to the mix, for many purists soba should be made from 100% buckwheat.

 

Now I am not going to dismiss a grain (actually ground seeds from a flower I think), but there is not that much to soba, no gluten as in wheat, no enzymes do much to change things, not fermentation and drying process that gives us the god of grains, malted barley, not even a bit of added mould to coax out the flavours as used with rice.  The only thing added then is a bit of water and call me a philistine, but even if the water is from some magical spring that gives eternal youth, it is still only good old H2O and probably not likely to make a huge impact on the final taste.

 

Even old time locals who rave about soba almost always praise it not for its taste, but for its texture.  The ultimate praise given in respect of a good soba restaurant is koshi ga yoi or nodogoshi ga yoi,.i.e. the texture is firm or it goes down the throat well.  I appreciate good soba, hopefully as much or perhaps even a little more that the next guy, but given that it is a food whose ultimate praises are about its texture as opposed to its taste, I cannot see those men from the tyre company in there anytime soon to check it out for their red book.

 

The food:  The soba was good.  Not the best I have ever tasted, but still pretty good.  I had mine with a duck soup, which was based on a fish stock with a good citrus accent (yuzu I guess).  25 points.

 

The price:  1,680 yen for a small plate of noodles and a small bowl of soup containing 4 slices of duck is taking the piss.  More expensive ingredients perhaps, but we are talking about a meal made out of buckwheat flour, hardly up there with gold as a precious commodity. 2 points.

 

The volume:  Sorry, but if you are going to price you self at over 1,500 yen for lunch, you need to ensure that your punters leave satisfied, and I wasn’t. 4 points.

 

The extras:  Soba yu was about it, and that comes as a given with soba, and also is something that would be thrown out anyway.  OK, I know that in the naughties, being ecological and using things which would otherwise be thrown out is all good, but at the end of the day, this is just the water that boiled the noodles in.  Come on, I don’t think anyone would be impressed if a spaghetti house did the same.  2 points.

 

Bonus: House in a nice old house, kind of felt Japanese; also the tea was soba-cha, which I guess is worth a couple of points for keeping in nature of the place.  Lost points though for not turning up with a fork/bowel for Little Trouble until we asked.  There is a rant welling up inside me as to why young Japanese female waitresses generally don’t have a clue about how to deal with child customers.  The next time a waitress carries a hot meal over the head of Little Trouble, I swear that I am going to take the hot meal and pour it all over the waitress in question.  This is something that older (i.e. probably have kids) waitresses never seem to do. 5 points.

 

The details: 3-10-7 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Phone 03 3505 5338

Web site: http://r.gnavi.co.jp/a970700/

 

Kyushu Jangara Ramen – 78 points

Yesterday, Cherry needed a fix, there was only one thing on her mind.  So as we stepped out of our air-conditioned paradise into the burning sun’s rays, she suggested we walk to the other end of town for a Jangara.  Not even one of the big people, who told her that it was all boarded up could set her mind at rest.  Like the alcoholic that so desperately sucks on an empty whiskey bottle (the use of the ‘e’ being deliberate on the basis that whisky drinker, by definition, would have sufficient taste and decorum to avoid becoming an alcoholic, maybe a drunk, but not an alcoholic; the critical difference being that alcoholics go to those awful meetings, “Hello my name is Chad and I am alcoholic”, whereas a drunk would never do that), Cherry needed a fix.  So off we went to Jangara, only to find it boarded up.  The lessons to be learnt from this sad experience being, first, don’t wear a blue shirt in summer if stepping outside, and second, that every once in a while one should listen to the big people, as they are usually, or at least on occasion can be, correct.

 

As a result, whilst I managed to fix a recent pizza craving at Salvatore, Cherry was still desperate for her fix and methadone was not enough.  So today we ventured out into the desert of Akasaka, to Jangara’s new store, which thankfully retains the same inexplicable smell of the old store, but is only a stone’s throw from the office.

 

And low and behold, despite the use of a different well to make its famous soup (or a slightly different part of the Tokyo water system), it still tasted like the soup I knew and loved from the old store.

 

Noodles:  Proper Kyushu style noodles, thin, firm to the bit, not overly absorbent, which is perfect for the soup.  Cooked to request in terms of firmness, couldn’t ask for much more.  26 points.

 

Soup:  In terms of taste, one of the best, a perfect layer of fat on top making you know that this is not health food, this is food for the junkie.  The so-called milder version is so thick you could stand your chopsticks up in it (I am not sure whether this is the same as standing up chopsticks in rice, but guess this is not a good idea), the thicker version you need a spoon to eat on a good day, a jackhammer on other days.  The only reason that this soup does not get the full 30 points is that it has a smell that just doesn’t seem right.  I can’t place it other than the Jangara smell, but it is a rather unique aroma to say the least.  28 points.

 

Topping:  As good as it come, wide choice of pretty much what ever you could imagine on top of a bowl of soup and noodles, although Lapp was of the view that the fishy flavour of the spicy cod roe and ramen did not work.  I went for a kakuni and egg topping, which was great.  Three big chunks of the most flavoursome kakuni, which must have been boiling away well before they moved to the new location; a couple of slices of chashu, that fell apart as you looked at them, balancing the firmer texture of the kakuni, a generous amount of kikurage, freshly cut scallions, ginger, garlic paste and sesame seeds at the table to adjust the flavour during one’s expedition to the bottom of the bowl.  19 points.

 

Bonus:  I want to give this place the full 20 points, just because the make the best ramen within the Yamanote line, but I will restrain myself in the interests of being objective.  There is no real place to queue (and there is always a queue at Jangara), which means that you must stand out in the heat on the street at this time of year, which is hot, too hot.  The seating is a bit smaller that the old place and they have lost the tables making it difficult for a group of more than 1 to sit together.  5 points.

 

In summary, a whisker better than Akasaka Ramen, the second best ramen shop in Akasaka.

 

The details: 2-15-15 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Web site:  
http://www.kyusyujangara.co.jp/shops/akasaka.htm

Akasaka Ramen – 72 points

How do you rate ramen?  Can your rate it?  More importantly can a wide-eye like me, who has not spent a life time discussing the subtleties of certain pork bones or dried fish used to prepare the stock, even contemplate rating ramen?  Probably not, but I don’t care (even if I do manage to offend the black truck riding Yamato Emperor Led Lamen Lovers, better known by their acronym, YELLL!).  In any case, our usual scoring system probably is not quite suited to subtleties of what might be regarded as Japan’s greatest gift to food – and yes I know there are unsubstantiated rumours that some Chinese emperor going by the name of Marco Polo may have introduced a similar dish following a meal at Luigi’s Famous Pasta Place, just near the Chinese emperor’s summer retreat in the back streets of Rome, but as all British food lovers know, this so-called spaghetti is a product of the hardy perennial spaghetti tree, native to the foreshores of Lake Lugano in Switzerland.  I remember many years ago at a Japanese speech competition, some student of Chinese-Malaysian background gave a speech questioning why Japan gets so excited about ramen, when at the end of the day, it is a Chinese import and then going on to note to the shock of the audiance that in other parts of Asia there is a huge variety of ramen compared to the rather limited soy sauce or miso varieties in Japan (this was back in the good old days when tonkotsu ramen was for southerners and shio ramen was for northerners and both were rarely seen in this great metropolis).  As far as I know, this guy was instantly deported from the country, although YELLL is said to have kept his legs as a souvenir, which are now rumoured to be proudly on display at the bottom of Tokyo Bay in their bespoke concrete encasing.  I have heard rumours though that there is a great noodle stall in KL, run by a guy in a wheelchair who speaks pretty good Japanese.

 

Anyway, I digress.  Given that my usual scoring system (which has been used to date all of two times) is probably not suited to this highly esteemed food, I have decided to adopt the following scoring system for ramen:  Noodles 29 points; Soup 31 points; Toppings 20 points, whilst retaining the 20 bonus points.  Price is not relevant for ramen, because how can you even start to put a price on a food that can give so much pleasure, and further if ramen costs more than 1,000 yen then it is not ramen, but something silly that does not deserve the attention of a ramen lover.  I know there may be ridiculous caviar/foie gras/black truffle/shark fin ramens out there, but these are for those trendy terebi types and no self respecting noodle slurper would be seen dead ordering such a thing. 

 

Noodles: Great, firm to the bite, with a glorious yellow sheen on them, which whist maintaining their texture lead to a gentle slide down the oesophagus.  25 points.

 

Soup: Wonderful tonkotsu based soup.  I went for the tsukemen, the soup for which matched the noodles perfectly, but was not too overpowering or salty to stop me from drinking the remaining soup after I had finished the noodles.  25 points.

 

Topping: Somewhat small about of blanched pork, whilst interesting texturally, offered little in the way of flavour, a seasoned egg made up for it, perfectly cooked so that the yolk was firm, but with the slightest amount of run.  15 points.

 

Bonus: RB was chuffed that he did not get an egg and demanded extra points because of that.  I was starving when I went and got all grumpy because RB got his bowl a good 5 minutes before mine turned up.  Come on Japan, why is it so hard to serve people at around the same time.  If you can get the entire national train system to work in harmony with only milliseconds in delays over the space of entire decades, why can’t you bring people eating together their food within the same hour? 10 points, but minus a further three points, simply because I couldn’t give this place more points than Gusto e Vino, prehaps a problem of being brought up on the wrong side of the Pacific and getting fed Spag Bog instead of Nissin Cup Noodles as a kid.  7 points.

 

In summary and going out on a limb here, perhaps the second best ramen shop in Akasaka.

 

The details: 3-13-5 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Phone 03 3586 7831

Web site:
http://www.akasakaramen.com